I think I am going to stop posting on here; I feel like I have been using it as an escape and someone showed me that blogging etc is not the way to deal with your feelings. That you should just ignore them and pretend nothing is wrong. So I have decided not to care anymore. Decided to turn my back on the world as it does not make sense. And embrace loneliness and sadness as happiness is a temporary feeling which will always leave but sadness stays with you! However I wont lost hope or faith in people!
So goodbye guys It’s been an adventure it really has.
These last few weeks I’ve been slowly realising that I’m not as good a person as I thought myself to be, I thought that by being and kind and nice that was what made a good person- however I realised that I was judging everyone according to my own narrow standards and was putting myself in their place when contemplating their situations and reactions and this severely limited my ability to understand and I would often get annoyed at people who would act differently to my notion of the ‘correct’ way to act; It is actually very hard to let go of your own thoughts and methods when analysing anyones actions- but im working on it! By doing this i should be able to become a better person
Thanks for reading!
I think I must have slept for about 14 hours and i felt so refreshed! My aches have gone! My mind cleared up and I felt ready to take on the world. I also felt very hungry so I went and ate a can? Of pringles (mot sure what you call it)
I then noticed that i could focus and was way more productive.
Verdict of my experiment… The first nighter will increase productivity howevet anything further will just decrease it! Also make sure to have plenty of fluids and food or you end up feeling really weak!
Okay now i feel extremelt tired
And cannot focus, i hear ringing sounds very loudly and also my body sways slightly even when i stil still.
I vomited a few times and my throat feels extremely dry- i have also become extremely irritable snapping at small things.
I think I am going to go and sleep!
Staying awake for one day(out of three)
The effects of the first night havent been as bad as expected, I have a ringing sound in my head and have become easily irritable, if I keep my head still i can see movement in the corner of my eye that isnt there. The worst i suppose is the the feeling in stomach as if someones punched me. Other than that justgeneral short attention span and trouble focusing. Oh I also feel hungry but when i eat I feel full after a bite.
Will keep you updated
So Im going to stay up for three days in a row for literally no reason whatsoever except that I can.
I am about to end university and feel that once it ends I’ll have to routinise(dont know if thats a word) my life. So i’m gonna try to get the whole semesters work done a few weeks in advance, maybe watch the sunrise and definately get the morning air!
I shall keep you all updated as to the effecs of my little endeavour!
Thanks for reading.
I actually like grey, cloudy skies, when the weathers overcast and a little dark, I dont know why but it has a very calmimg effect- when the skies are blue and the sun is shining I just want to go mad and enjoy life! But when they skies are grey its like a twilight period of neither here nor there where you never know whats going to happen- kind of like the sky itself as you never know if its going to rain or if the cloud are going to open up and let the sun shine.
I think its quite the contrast as grey skies are very dull and calming but have the potential to be anything but that, they turn into stormy skies, sunny skies and if its evening; starry skies- kind of like the evee of weather( pokemon reference!)
Hope you enjoyed reading this!